A recipe for
a successful Hindi serial.
Ingredients:
A large
family.
An opulent
house.
A tall,
brooding lead actor.
An
I-can-get-freakishly-chirpy lead actress.
Heaps of jewellery.
Truckloads
of designer outfits. And truckloads of make-up. (On second thoughts, you may
have to buy a few trucks first.)
Recipe:
-First,
create the large family by mixing together the following ingredients in careful
proportions.
- A domineering mother:
A Hitler-esque lady whose word is
law. And one whose glare can send chills
down every spine in the house. Especially the meek husband’s.
- A meek and submissive father: A timid, small man trailing his Hitler wife
like a doting puppy. Preferably someone who’s the owner of a large group of
industries and is rolling in money but does not go to work a single day.
- Some random uncles and aunts cropping up for a few scenes
and spouting a few meaningless dialogues.
- A villain: Preferably one of the wives of the
aforementioned random uncles. A scheming and manipulative lady whose main
occupation is eavesdropping on conversations and hatching hare-brained schemes
for no particular reason at all. (Warning: Extra make-up required).
- The blue-eyed, tall and brooding son. Someone who is poised
to take over the reins of the workplace from his father one day, without
getting any education of any sort.
- A single servant who can handle every facet of
house-keeping. Preferably with names like Ramu or Sarla.
-Then,
create the castle-like, gigantic house. The house should have no less than 30
rooms with a separate room for every Tom, Dick and Harry. The door should be so
huge that it requires a fleet of manpower to open it.
-After the large
family and the house are ready, introduce the irritatingly-over-the-top chirpy
heroine with her two irritating friends( who are less pretty than her,
obviously) and give her an irritatingly perfect life.
- Make the
boy fall in love with the girl.
- Rustle up some
problems.
- Concoct a
happy ending anyhow.
Now, you may
think the recipe/serial ends here, but you’re wrong. Make sure everything has
perfectly fallen into place before proceeding to the next step.
- Fast forward
twenty years and start all over again.
- Repeat the
same process a million times. Throw in a few dashes of amnesia, court cases, divorces, remarriages and illegitimate kids for some extra spice.
VOILA. Your Hindi
serial’s ready! Doesn’t it look lovely?
Please do
try it and tell me how it turned out. :)
